SEE HOW YOU measure up in a new TrumpQuiz. Remember, send your answers to the Trump Organization’s Fifth Avenue headquarters. Billions of dollars are at stake. Good luck.
To emerge victorious on The Apprentice, you should:
- Let a leech slither up your urethra.
- Find out before the end of the season whether Donald actually owns any of the projects to which he’ll assign you if you win.
- Grovel.
- Be extremely innovative and industrious.
- Pander.
- When in doubt, don’t stick out.
- Call Donald “Mr. Trump,” and mean it.
- Be smart and be on time.
- Handle your boardroom grillings like Donald Rumsfeld handles press conferences.
- Crawl around on all fours whenever necessary.
- Have a big-time genetic pool.
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